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Monday 19 May 2014

The Result

And so the dreaded first post. The blank page. The void. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that I've written this in my head a hundred times, and attempted to physically write it just as many. Still, nothing seems to suffice, and it's all to do with my obsession with "the result".

Y'know, for as long as I can remember I've had a constant stream of ideas whizzing about my head, but when it comes to committing to any of them, I crumble, all because the projection in my bonce rarely reaches my high expectations when it makes it into the physical world.


This happens to pretty much all of us in one way or another. We're all drawn in by the potential, the dream, the what ifs. But time after time it never lives up to the gravity to which we've given it. In the objective sense it's the kitchen gadget that was meant to save minutes chopping garlic that now collects dust in the cupboard brimming with the other timesaving gadgets; the convertible that you've never driven around the countryside in homage to those slick car ad's.


Yes, these are pretty cliche, but the creative process I go through isn't far detached. The grand ideas (regardless to how much effort goes into them) never reach their cognitive greatness. So the song that I think to be the best I've ever written, isn't; the illustration that I've been imagining is impossible to draw; and the concept for a new poem I have becomes messy, flawed and without emotion or rhyme.


So what to do, lower my expectations?... Not yet. 


Although I sometimes struggle with the above, I still don't see it as my enemy, just part of my make-up, my nature, something to be worked at. And through reflection I am learning to control these destructive tendencies by experimenting.



For example, when I moved from my cassette four-track to a DAW (digital audio workspace), recording my music was a largely arduous ordeal on my ego. I focused far to much on the sounds and images in my head, and on how something "should sound" or "should be" according to online sources and expert opinions. The result ended up being far too safe and conscious. Then I stumbled upon some of my old recordings, and although very crude, I felt they had more about them, more life. I quickly came to realise that because I was still learning to play the basics during those first recordings, everything I did was a constant experiment. After I'd had the time to digest this concept, my recordings slowly freed up in the name of experimentation.

All in all, I reached the conclusion that it's fine to have fixed creative ideas, the image in your head or whatever it may be, but it's more fun to be spontaneous and unruly. Fixed ideas come with the baggage of ego and expectation, but there's little room for them when you're just doing something for the hell of it. And even just leaving space for a mess about in your fixed idea will open up whatever it is your working on to happy mistakes and nuances that will better represent you.

Which leads me to what 'Wou-Wou & the Wormling' is about. From where I sit it's about me growing creatively through playing and experimenting with child-like abandon; about learning to love my faults and inabilities, and working with them as if they were a talent; about doing things upside down and back-to-front so to get to a state where I don't judge what comes out of me; about choosing the difficult path and not resting on my laurels. 


I cannot promise that if you come back in a week or so, you'll like or enjoy anything that I've done, nor that it will be of a certain "professional" quality, because where I stand, those things don't stand for much. 


That said, and depending on what I stumble across on this ongoing odyssey, there may be the certain creative exercises or methods that could be of use to you in times of block, or even just for plain old fun, to do for the sake of creating.


Truthfully though, s'all up in the air at the moment... and that's just where I plan to keep it.


Many thanks,



- The Wormling

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